Homezone – circular observations

A few short texts currently in development. Each circle relates to my Homezone in Stuttgart.

CIRCLE No.1

This circle has a diameter of 2,3km. The topography of this circle, if you cut it out, might resemble a failed sponge cake, or the side of a crater. Circle No.1 appears by nature impenetrable, a smooth perfect circle, a castle built to resist cannons.

I say hello to an old lady and she calls me a ‘Schmüserle’ (flirt).

The hedges, fences and gates around the outside of this circle are noticeably higher.

On the edge of this circle is a small chess shop, a few doors away from a Chinese take-away and an Indian wholesaler. I go in and challenge the shopkeeper. He takes my castle, and proceeds to win the game.

CIRCLE No.2

“Young nice couple looking for their own flat (70-80m2) in Stuttgart-West. Please call.”

“We are a small family (fully employed / mid-income), with a lovely 20-month old daughter, looking for a 3-4 bedroom flat in Stuttgart West. A bath and a balcony would be especially welcome!”

CIRCLE No. 4

Greeting you as you enter this circle is a group of people, mostly older men, seated around a small dried-up fountain. They sit here for 7-8 hours a day, and will happily point you in the right direction. Each person has an allocated space on one of the benches, a Stammplatz. One of the benches is always empty.

A few metres away, just outside this circle, somebody leans out of the window and spits down onto the street.

Over 25% of the people living in this circle are classified as foreigners. A large proportion of these live next to the four main roads

In the Maultaschenfabrik they are still hiding the meat from God.

CIRCLE NO.5

There are 13 pubs, 3 off licences and 1 public drinking fountain
There are 7 times as many public cigarette dispensers as there are undertakers
There is one gay brothel

There are 19 hair and beauty salons, one of which is for dogs
There are 25 times as many designers and architects as there are greengrocers
There are 10 times as many art galleries than there are DIY stores
If you stand downwind, you have a 10% chance of smelling freshly ground coffee

There are as many empty shops as there are tax advisers
As many butchers as there are banks
There are two doors to nowhere

CIRCLE NO. 6

Some sort of centrifugal effect seems to fling all of the public institutions and community centres towards the edge of this circle – the schools, the local arts centre, the library, the youth centre, the hospital and the citizens advice centre.

If you want to live in this circle you will be given a map and free bus travel for a month.

Somebody has marked this circle with a humming hole. I stick my head into the hole that has been cut into the stone and hum and my body vibrates, like a glass of water having a finger run around and around the rim.

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